Ah, Christmas, a new year, such a time for self-reflection, re-adjusting family dynamics, reforming bad habits, turning over new leaves...
2008 marked quite a change in my life -- I gave up my firstborn.
You know how it is? You have a baby, you're attached at the hip (and the breast), you'd throw yourself in front of a bus for that child. You love him/her desperately, there's nothing you wouldn't do for him, to make him happy, to meet his needs...
What a surprise, 14 years later, to find myself sending that beloved child to live... not with me. And not worrying incessantly, as I did when he was 3 or 5 with a babysitter, or 7 when he was in school and having trouble coping. What a surprise to have the absence of my firstborn be a relief.
So has it been for the past 6 months, raising 2 kids instead of 3. A relief, a welcome respite, a delightful absence of strife, free-flowing kid-love without ridicule from the eldest offspring. Pfew.

Tonight I decided, spur of the moment, to have a second annual Family Meeting -- a fancy dinner out with conversation about what we are proud of, what we fell short on and what we'd like to accomplish the coming year. The first annual Family Meeting was much more difficult with the eldest child present, a child fraught with negativity and pessimism. The second meeting, tonight, was mostly pleasant interjected with a few tense moments.

After dinner, I figured I'd better write up my meeting notes immediately or risk never doing them, like the library board meeting I volunteered to record a couple of weeks ago... Where are those raw notes??

The below is the compilation of those notes.


Mulroy-Evans Family Meeting
Eastside Restaurant
December 27, 2008


What did you do this year that you’re the most proud of?

· Tom: Didn’t smoke
· Julie: Kept all my balls in the air
· Marika: Stuck with playing the flute
· Aidan: Learned to play the trombone


What do you wish you’d done in 2008?

· T: Finished the library upstairs, jobs around house
· J: Read more, worked at home less
· M: Walked the dogs more and done less media
· A: Exercised more, played less video games


What do you want to do better in 2009?

· T: 3 x 30 (exercise 3 times/week, 30 minutes each time)
· J: Bowflex
· M: Elliptical
· A and All: Family game night (Sunday nights)


Where do you see yourself in 2-5 years?

· T: 24 Concord Avenue, 10 pounds lighter, as happy as I can be
· J: Working on or completing a Master’s degree
· M: Still playing the flute, getting good grades, preparing for college, driver’s license, car
· A: Still playing trombone


What are you willing to do this year to get healthier?

· T: Lose 10-12 pounds by June ’09
· J: Read more, spend less time on the computer
· M: Moderate food better, spend less time playing Wii, media
· A: Eat healthier, use elliptical 2-3 times/week

Where would you most like to go in the world and in the USA?

· T: Egypt, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas
· J: Quebec City, Grand Canyon
· M: Paris/London, Georgia
· A: Japan, Colorado Springs


What we can do better in 2009:

· Stop rolling eyes
· Allow that there is more than 1 way to do things
· Respect boundaries – “Be careful…”
· Improve communication during conflict
· Spend more quality time together


What we did well in 2008:

· Tom: Pitching in more and more, willingness to change
· Julie: Juggled many balls, kept family running smoothly
· Marika: Patient, kind and thoughtful
· Aidan: More patient, calm and tolerant than the years before