How can it possibly be nearly 3 months since I've blogged?
Craziness
Disappointment
Disbelief
I don't play poker -- what's with the constant upping of the ante?
What's with this kharmic hazing?
UNCLE!

Now THIS is stress.
I do hate to complain, I really do -- I have autonomy, some close working relationships, people I can trust....
But I haven't had a normal heartrate in over a week -- that can't be good. I'm suddenly married to my job -- an elopement out of the blue! And it's not an entirely healthy relationship.
I intended to start with good boundaries, good habits, a system. Instead I have an unhealthy work/home balance, a 'wing it' system with frequent panicked calls to the agency lawyer and the habit of staying up too late worrying about work -- ME? worry? But I'm not a worrier!
Guilt, oh everpresent guilt! Catholic guilt, Christian guilt, patriarchial guilt, wifely guilt, guilt stemming from but-I'm-always-the-over-giver, NOT-the-frequent-slacker!
I'm not pulling my weight at home and that makes me very anxious!
My kids are giving me grief about never being home!
My parents came to see me at work today (after just coming back from wintering in FL for 6 or so months) and I had to blow them off because I had a work crisis -- how many crises can an HR administrator expect??
I expect I'll be fine, but oh, the secrecy in HR! Where to blow off steam?